Take a Deep Breath and Respect the Distance #firsthundie

When I first started into the world of trail running I swore up and down that I would never be able to physically handle a 100-mile run, let alone a 50 miler or anything longer than a 1/2 marathon. In 2002, 6-months after my daughter was born I was struck by a car while out on a bike ride. Hospital visits, 120 staples in my leg for several skin grafts followed by 6-months of physical therapy to be able to walk again pretty much told me that running would never be in my future, let alone having the courage to get back onto the bike. About 4-years ago I started to get serious about trail running, beyond just using it as cross-training for my ultra-distance mountain bike racing and I started to fall in love all over again. Fast forward to 2020 and now 1/2 marathons are light training days, marathons are a dime a dozen, and 50ks are a nice run through the woods on the weekends. In the month of June/July, I had 6 weekends in a row of 50ks and a couple of 27+ mile runs. Funny how one's perspective changes and the body learns to adapt to the higher stresses. The human body and mind continue to amaze me.

The 14th Annual Burning River 100 is a well-known ultra trail race in the state of Ohio. It is hosted by Western Reserve Racing and these guys know their stuff. I cannot imagine the massive time and energy it takes to put on such an event let alone the huge stress of dealing with COVID-19 restrictions and policies. These guys just need to take a vacation until next year's race. Jim, Vince, and Joe and the masterminds behind making the event happen, and these guys need an all-expense paid vacation until next year's race. 

Working with new coach and friend Jeff Rupnow, owner of Evolution Training Cycles (ETC), had been hugely beneficial. This is a guy that is willing to put himself into the pain cave to understand what his athletes are putting themselves through, to learn and have the right perspective. He loves the science, nerds out on "the process", and is always in your corner. Regardless of the outcome, I know Jeff will always have my back and best interests in mind. We worked through two significant injuries during training and managed to ramp back up to a full load. Running 50-60 miles per week became the norm. Hitting 70/80/90 was sustainable. I had two back to back weeks of 100+ miles at my peak with a slow taper down to 90+, then 80+, then 70+, and finally 37 miles the week before the race. The week of the race I ran Tuesday thru Friday from 2-4-ish miles layering in some short interval work to keep spring in the legs. I felt incredible and as Jeff would tell me "You're supposed to feel good. That is how a taper works". Jeff also informed me that the number one reason runners DNF is ... dyhadration. Wait for it ...

Angie my Chief Crew Captain

Race Logistics

This race runs throughout the Cuyahoga Vally National Park and the Summit Metro Parks and at one point, only 1-mile from where Angie and I live. To say that I know all of the trails is a gross understatement. Along with the fact that I have been building up friendships with local running groups, Angie and I knew that the support would be far, far better here than it ever would be had I registered for any other 100-mile race. In hindsight, this alone is what got me to the finish line, not kidding, and was hands down one, if not the, of the most important decisions we made. 

The course used to be a point to point, but due to various reasons is now an out and back. Logistically this was much easier for Angie because she was never more than 20-minutes away from home. This ended up being extremely helpful late in the race.

Race cut-off is 30-hours for the buckle but you can go beyond that and finish the event. The RDs will do everything in their power to safely get you to the finish line.

Angie who was my primary crew chief would be teaming up with our good friend Cathy Faye and  meeting me at all crew locations. Being an out and back course there were 13 aid stations (never more than 5.8 miles apart), so we would be hitting each one twice and out of all 26 possible stops, 11 allowed for crew access. 

Packing - Gear & Nutrition (other crap)

I started packing for the race one week out. I had in my head what I was going to need and laid it all out on the dining room table and began to label everything in order to help make things easier for Angie. I have spares of everything, including a new pair of Brooks Caldera 4 trail shoes, lights, back-up battery chargers, shorts, shirts, hats, etc. I overpacked for what I thought was every possible scenario. We also purchased a wheeled cooler to make it easier to cart the food around and packed one backpack with the remaining items to cover everything else not related to nutrition.

As for nutrition, I did not have enough experience to know what my body might need when the wheels would fall off and I would like to think that as long as I keep putting calories in that I will not get myself into a bad situation. Having never experienced a 100-mile run I just made sure I had plenty of food on hand. Everything from the usual gel packets by Muir, Spring, and Humma to making small russet smashed potatoes w/ garlic and turmeric and sweet potato wedges baked with a drizzle of maple syrup. I packed items that had tasted really good late into the past 50-miler races which were various cookies and Peanut M&Ms. For fluid, I had Tailwind of different flavors, some Skratch Labs, and Infinit Nutrition (my go-to for long cycling excursions). I also really enjoy orange slices and watermelon so that went into the nutrition basket of tricks as well. Lastly, we packed small cans of Ginger Ale and Coke (aka crack).

Taking notes from my past experience I packed & labeled bags for:

• Sprays, tapes, and hats to deal with bugs
• Battery chargers, spare lights, spare batteries, earbuds, and music options
• Medical emergencies from Ginger Chews, salt tablets, bandaids, Neosporin
• Teeth cleaning because I hear brushing your teeth late in the race is refreshing 
• Spare bladders for my vest and spare hand bottles in case I destroyed one along the way

I felt like I had items for every possible situation that could crop up including my hand roller for when my muscles just need to be rolled out.

The Race Start

It was a COVID-19 wave start and well organized! Brilliant use of glow sticks to mark off starting positions where each wave consisted of 12 starters, socially distanced, and a wave going off every three minutes. In my opinion, it was perfect! Waves and start times were based on your predicted finish time. I had originally set my finish time to 29 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds, meaning ... I just wanted to finish and beat the 30-hour buckle cut-off. Given that this was just a different situation with COVID, I didn't want to be starting at 5:30am (the 31st wave start time), so I adjusted my predicted start time to, what I thought, was a more realistic finish time of 23-hours. I think this was reasonable and I believe I can hit that mark. I also wanted to do this without any pacers, totally solo, and I had two goals in mind; first was to simply finish and I believe that was going to be a big enough of a challenge with my longest run this year being only 51 miles and my second, lofty goal, was to be sub-24 hours but so many things would have to go my way and very few things could go wrong. So here we go ...

I was the first one on the line for my wave, number 10, and launched at 4:27am. Felt great and really, really fought to hold back my pace. I have read/heard that banking time is not worth breaking yourself down early in the race but rather banking energy is the way to approach a 100-mile run. It is extremely difficult when your body feels incredible, but I tried so hard to keep in mind that this will be fleeting and I will be in the pain cave soon enough. Little did I fully understand and appreciate how true this would be. #respectthedistance

During the early miles I kept my music off to try and maintain a slower pace and because I knew that I would likely be listening to music all day and night I didn't want to get sick of it in the early miles. Around mile 15 when the sun was up I reached the second crew station where Angie was ready with everything I needed. After a refill of my fluid, the grabbing of all the foods, and a quick shirt change I flipped on my music and headed back onto the course. What is weird, for me, is that I could only tolerate listening to the music for maybe an hour and then I just didn't want to hear it anymore. I shut it off and never had music playing for the remainder of the race. I was enjoying the sounds around me of the other runners chattering away, the sounds of nature with the birds chirping, and many times just enjoying the sound of my own shoes running through the woods in peaceful solitude. This was just so unlike me, but it's what I needed at the time and I rather liked it.

Entering Oak Hill AS.

The next two crew locations were at Oak Hill, around mile 21 and 4-hours into the race, and Pine Hollow around mile 33 and 6-hours and 20-minutes into the race. I knew when I reached Pine Hollow that my pace was much slower than my usual 50k pace, but I was fine with that because it told me that I wasn't trying run all out and I was holding a fairly good pace. Hopefully, this would allow me to conserve energy for when things got real. Both of the crew stops I loaded my empty vest bladder with Tailwind, grabbed handfuls of potatoes, oranges, and anything else that sounded tasty, kissed my BFF, and headed quickly back onto the course. I tried not to spend much time at my stops now, because I knew that as I began to break down I would need to spend more time recovering during aid station stops plus the sooner I could get through the paved bike and hike section then the less time I would spend cooking in the heat.

Silver Springs - Decision Time for So Many

The approach to Silver Springs Park, the half-way point, is a 6-mile paved bike path on a false flat. I truly dislike running roads or Towpath-like sections. It is mind-numbing and I lose complete interest which is when my pace drops. In an event like this, however, I had been looking forward to this section as a way to pick up time from the ups and downs and it is a spot I had planned to recover. Unfortunately, mother nature had other plans. By this time the heat was deep into the 80s, there were zero clouds, and the sun was blistering. This was far from recovery and it quickly turned into a fight to get to that turn-around point. 50-miles is still hard for me, so I should not have been surprised or upset that I was struggling let alone having to deal with running in a blast furnace. As I approached the turn-around timing strip just across a grassy open field I glanced to my right and son of a gun if it wasn't my daughter there cheering me on from the sideline. This would be the first moment that my emotions got the best of me and I did everything I could to fight off the tears. See, my daughter is heading to her first year of college and moved into her dorm on the Sunday of the race. I had always planned on helping her move in, but with COVID-19 they are limited to the number of friends and family that can assist. I knew she had a ton going on, yet she made the time to see her ole'man out there doing this crazy stuff. She's awesome and I love her beyond words. So yay ... I got emotional but it certainly was not the last time.

I continued to fight off the emotions when I met up with Angie and a hand full of friends there to support me. Cathy Faye, Randy Wittmer, and Anthony Balsco are the ones that I recall (much of the day is a blur). Angie is in a boot so moving around is not the easiest. Cathy, a total rock star in my book, after crushing Leg #1 with a BR relay team, stayed with Angie to help support me, then volunteered at an aid station, then met back up with Angie to support me the REST of the night AND morning!! If that wasn't enough, Cathy was also keeping a close tab on John McGonnell (BEASTLY runner) racing the back 50-mile race (which he WON!!). Anthony and Randy were such a huge motivation and support at Silver Springs. They both just looked at me and said "You got this. Don't give in to the pain and suffering". These guys, more than most, know how to suffer, understand what I was going through, and know exactly how to motivate people to dig deep. 

Cathy and Angie made sure I was refueled, made me aware that I needed to charge my phone (I was not happy about having to carry another piece of equipment but I did it anyway with a bit of "encouragement"), made sure I sucked down a bunch of calories, and then I was off and "running". I was still running at this time, unlike so many that made the call and ended their race due to heat exhaustion, and while I was absolutely fatigued I had not quite hit what I thought was my breaking point where food turned me completely off. On my way into the Silver Springs aid station, I had taken notice of someone coming out of the bathroom and his head was soaking wet so as I was leaving I decided to make a quick dash into the bathroom, open up the cold water tab and stick my head under the faucet and man that felt so good!!

The wheels on the bus keep falling off, falling off, falling off ...

Soon after I left Silver Springs, the heat continuing to feel like the inside of a blast furnace, I could feel the wheels coming off. I knew it was going to happen at some point but ever so naively hoped it would not happen while on this long stretch of tarmac. Only a few miles out of Silver Springs is the Tiki Bar aid station. Like most of the aid stations, they are all in the direct sunlight so there is little opportunity to just get out of the sun other than being on the trails under the canopy of the trees. The COVID-19 rules stated that anytime you approached an aid station and were within 6-feet of anyone, you must mask up. I absolutely followed the rules because if we want to continue to have races, then we must prove to the nay-sayers that we can and will follow the rules! That said, putting on a mask in the heat and after running ... well ... it is super uncomfortable. I tried to spend a little time as I could with my mask on. I would throw it on, grab what I needed, step away from everyone, pull it down, eat/drink, and then rinse and repeat. I never once approached an aid station and not put my mask on. I did see runners that were not following the rules. Shame on you.

After the Tiki Bar and on my way to dive back into the shaded woods and onto trails, I noticed a couple things. First, I had my Garmin configured for a display to show the time of day, time of sunset/sunrise, battery level, and temperature. At this point, the temperature was reading 90+ degrees and before I made it back into the woods it was reading 96* as the high. Seriously brutal. Plus the mileage between the last crew spot before the half-way point and then after the half-way point was roughly a 50k which meant I absolutely had to rely on aid stations if I had any hope of surviving the heat.

The second biggest thing that stuck with me was the number of runners heading towards the half-way point. The heat was taking souls left and right. Sucking the life out of most to the point that it was like watching the zombie apocalypse where all the zombies had a specific destination to reach and nothing else mattered in their world. I specifically recall seeing someone so drained that they could not hold a straight line while walking. I asked if they were ok and I did not get a response, but the Tiki Bar aid station was 200 yards up the paved bike and hike and I knew that the volunteers would see this and know exactly how to help.

Pine Hollow - what felt like a 40-minute rest was actually nearly one hour

Climbing the Sound of Music Hill

When I reached my next crew location at Pine Hollow after battling my way through the open grassy fields of the Cross Country trail, climbing the Sound of Music hill, followed by the rather punchy Salt Run trail, I had reached 67-68 miles into this adventure. This is the longest I have ever run in a single shot, so this was already a milestone. Unfortunately, I crawled deep into the pain and suffering cave. I didn't know what I wanted, what my body needed to try and pull things around, and I wasn't able to communicate much due to pure exhaustion. Thank goodness I was surrounded by three friends that have seen, lived, and breathed this stuff for years. Cathy Faye, Tara Schweitzer, and Syndey Chinchana. At this point, my wonderful wife knew enough to know that she knew very little about how to help me. This was all new territory for both of us. Angie let them take over all the while keeping a close eye on me because regardless of their experience, she knows me better than anyone.

In hindsight, this moment was an amazing experience, I am beyond grateful, and I get emotional just thinking about it. I have known Tara Schweitzer for a number of years. She has run the Burning River 100 and I believe it was her first attempt where she had the finish line in sight and dropped out due to renal failure. Yes, this stuff is no joke and you MUST take care of yourself and surround yourself with experienced friends and do what they say because what I was experiencing was actually quite common (I did not realize that at the time). I did not want to eat or drink anything. Tara was doing her best to work with me and the others to figure out what I was willing to eat or drink. When out of nowhere one of them said "too bad we don't have any ramen noodles or broth" I was like ... Broth. Damn, that sounds good and they all perked up because I showed some level of interest in food. I needed something savory and salty but not the potatoes that I had made because I had my fill of those earlier on. 

Ramen Tom

Enter Sydney Chinchana. Upon hearing this, she literally (not kidding) launched down the line of crew stations yelling out for anyone that had ramen noodles and broth. I cannot make this stuff up. I wish I had the wherewithal at the time to watch her doing this, it had to have been quite the sight. Well, guess what ... she tracked down a gentleman that we now refer to as "Ramen Tom" (unbeknownst to him). He had brought a mini-stovetop and had rice noodles and broth. The broth was so good and I even downed all of the rice noodles. Got up slowly and sat down on the back of Angie's car to start to get ready to head back out on the course. Around the same time, a lady that was set up next to us popped over to offer anything that she had on-hand after witnessing that I was on the struggle bus with no wheels. We now refer to this kind soul as "Pedialyte Popsicle Girl". She gave me three of these flavored delights and I downed two of them. Brilliant idea!! 

While all of this was going on, Cathy who stayed by Angie's side the majority of the day and night (THANK YOU!!!!), was clearing out my vest, repacking it, seeing what I wanted for when I continue back onto the course and just generally being beyond helpful. Seriously, the support was so amazing!!

Thinking that all the wonderful nourishment that I ate would surely get me fixed up to hammer out the remaining miles I stood up ... big mistake. My vision went full-on yellow which means I was seconds from passing out. Fortunately, I was quick to realize what was happening (been there done that) and threw myself to the ground. I immediately felt better but it was definitely making me think twice about continuing. I had done the damage and in all likelihood, I was not going to dig myself out of this hole and bounce back. Re-enter "Ramen Tom". He introduced himself, saw me laying on the ground, and gave me some words of "encouragement". Something to the effect of "Get off the ground ya pansy and get moving. I just gave you noodles and broth and I am not going to let that go to waste". More or less that's how it went down and after a bit of a struggle ... off I went. 

Meanwhile, Angie knew enough to call for back-up at this point. I know she was concerned and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't concerned as well. I know enough about my own body to understand that I would be ok walking for a while and that once the food hits me I should start to feel better, but having someone alongside me would give Angie and me a bit more comfort and frankly much more of a safety net should things go really south. Angie did the ole phone-a-friend and called JoNathan who at the time was with his daughters and I assume hanging out on a nice Saturday evening. JoNathan had pre-registered as a pacer for just such an emergency. He literally dropped what he was doing, grabbed what he could for running, busted arse over to the Pine Hollow trailhead, and blasted onto the Wetmore trail to track me down and pace me. Wicked awesome in my book. I will forever be in his debt!! 

All of that, right there, the people willing to help, drop everything they are doing, giving selflessly and freely of their own time and resources, thinking through how to help people do great things, human beings helping human beings in very tough times, THIS epitomizes the trail running community. This is the reason I have fallen head over heels with my trail running family.

Pacers are awesome but great pacers are a rare breed

I had entered a world of pain and suffering that I had never experienced before in my 10 years of racing. Call it stupidity, stubbornness, unwillingness to give in, or whatever but I decided to continue on this journey and see where it led me knowing full well that I was in good hands. JoNathan tracked me down rather hastily, however, when he caught up to me it took me a few seconds to realize that it was JoNathan. I was that out of it or so I am told. From that point on I had someone with me, overseeing me, keeping me moving forward all the while talking and engaging with me to keep my mind off of the suffering and the 30+ miles that lay in front of me. Pacers are absolutely amazing and great pacers are a rare breed. JoNathan is a great pacer. He knew who was working specific aid stations, what each aid station offered, and got what I needed to keep me moving. He kept me engaged with the conversation, made me laugh when I got quiet and commiserated with me through his own personal struggles in life and from the 100-mile races that he has fought hard to finish. JoNathan as been there and done that when it comes to suffering so he was fully aware of what I was going through and what I needed. Along the Wetmore trail, I had a pain that cropped up behind my right knee suddenly. JoNathan immediately addressed the issue by asking me where it was, how bad was it, and if I had taken any IB Profin or Acetametiphin. I had some IB Profin on me so he recommended not taking both, but only taking one at a time and giving it time to work before consuming more. He remembered that my stomach wasn't happy, so popping in a bunch of meds might make the stomach issue worse. Climbing seemed to make things worse, but it would ebb & flow so it wasn't constant which meant I could continue on. 

When we arrived at the Valley Picnic aid station his friend Carol was there and she knew the questions to ask me and how to help me out. I grabbed a small cup of pretzels for the sodium and carbs and frankly just to get more calories in which is what we needed to do at every aid station. Nothing sounded good, not even water yet I continued to sip water and at the aid stations, I would drink small cups of Ginger Ale (for the stomach) and Mountain Dew (for the caffeine). Carol was amazingly helpful, kind, and caring and it was just so comforting knowing someone like Carol was truly there to help those in need. Upon leaving this aid station, my knee felt better and I had a small bit of energy come back. I actually ran a couple times for a few short minutes. I wish I knew if it was the pretzels or perhaps it was the mountain dew that finally hit my system and provided me this small boost of energy. The running did not last long at all, but I was happy to be running and not walking.

Oak Hill Aid Station

The next aid station we arrived at was Oak Hill which is an aid station that allowed for crew access and it seriously one of the best aid stations!! They have it all lit up, music playing, and it just feels like a really cool party scene. Of course a bit more subdued this year due to COVID-19, but they had it going on for sure. Plus, it always made me feel better when I could see my wonderful wife and I think with Angie knowing how hard this was for me, she felt better being able to keep an eye on me. I cannot imagine how hard this was for her to see me in this state. It was a new situation for both of us, but like the rock that she has always been, she was there for me and never stopped being supportive. 

At this aid station was Bob Smaltz, Mark Pancake, and Jessica Vandenbush. This is a group of serious ultra-distance trail runners with years of experience. Bob stepped in immediately upon seeing me enter the aid stations and could tell I was in a world of hurt. How he did it I do not know, but he offered me up a Chick-fil-a sandwich. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't eat fast food and I have been working hard at not eating meat. This was a different situation and called for desperate measures. Bob brought over the sandwich and when I took the first bite it was like angels descended from the heavens. It was magical. Never has a chicken sandwich tasted so good. He told me to just take small bites and eat it slowly. #epicfail I woofed that sandwich down like I had not eaten in weeks. It actually sat pretty well in my stomach but from this point on, no solid food sat well with my stomach and I would just rely on water and broth for the remaining 20+ miles.

What I remember the most about the Oak Hill aid station is that I couldn't believe how quickly they surrounded me, got me what I needed, and sent me on my way. Like a well-oiled machine. Just so impressive!! 

After a short chat with Angie and of course, a kiss on the cheek (cuz who wants to kiss the person that has been running for nearly 20+ hours) JoNathan and I headed back onto the course. A few more miles pass, somewhere in the neighborhood of 5-6 miles, and a couple more aid stations we arrived at the Botzum Trail Head where I would switch pacers and see Angie again. JoNathan had gone above and WAY beyond the call of duty and so we made the call to tap in Eric who was prepared and ready to go. Eric is a LOOOOONG time friend and without a doubt my best friend. He and I have gone through a lot through the years and I have known him since second grade. Here was yet another friend that got up in the wee hours of the morning, mind you he is married and has two young kids, to come out and help me through this adventure. Truly a wonderful, selfless, human being that has been there for me time and time again. After a short chat with JoNathan to inform him of how I was doing, what I needed, and the pace that I needed to try and maintain we were off and moving, but of course not without a quick sweaty and smelly kiss for my wife. I'm sure that was the highlight of her crew stops.

The Final Push & Several Break Downs

Eric had a big job ahead of him and I know he was well aware of that. I mean, all we really needed to do was to walk about 14-miles to the finish line, but this trek would take over 5-hours. I was still in a world of hurt, never bounced back from the Pine Hollow aid station, and the massive deficit I put myself into just continued to bury me physically, mentally, and emotionally. We talked about all sorts of topics from the current adventure to things that I have no clue about such as construction zoning laws and apparently this thing called a Variance. What the heck is a Variance?? Whelp ... just ask Eric because the guy is way smarter than I am and all I needed was for him to talk to me. I didn't care what the topic was. I just needed something to focus on to get my mind off the suffering. Eric did an incredible job with that all while constantly keeping an eye on me to ensure that I was not deteriorating any further to the point that he may need to step in a pull me out of the race. He knows me better than most and he knows that I can handle a lot when it comes to this stuff. He knew I was ok when every now and then I would try to crack a joke at things he was saying. Just the fact that I had enough wherewithal to tell jokes was a good sign. This wasn't without the constant moaning when my knee pain would crop up or when I would complain about the next hill climb coming up or how the climbs would seem to drone on forever, but that was to be expected and I did my best to not be a total PITA. 

Eric and I made our way down the short 2-mile section along the Towpath which then heads up into the Summit Metro Parks trail that is littered with punchy climbs. I really do love and enjoy climbing, but at this point, it was all rather hateful. My mental state was uplifted though as the sounds of nature at night provided the serenity that I needed. Listening to the crickets, the occasional hoot of the owls, and of course the howling of the coyotes that live throughout the park systems. We ascended and descended our way through the park system all the while Eric keeping a close eye on me an engaging me in conversation to keep my spirits up. After one last big climb, we meet Angie at the new crew location of North Hawkins. Here Angie once again outdid herself and presented me with two grilled cheese sandwiches. OH HECK YAY!!!! I went ahead and started to woof down one of them and got through 3/4 of one of them when I recalled Bob Smalt telling me that I should be eating food in small bites to let it settle. Will I never learn?!?! Of course, he was right because only a minute or two later I started to feel the lump of grilled cheese sandwiches hit my stomach. Oh boy. Now, I never got sick but I think the cheese at this point wasn't doing me any favors. They tasted great but I really needed to have food that would sit with me and not upset my stomach. Not the case so unfortunately while I had taken the remaining grilled cheese sandwich with me after we left the aid station I ended up throwing it out in the nearby dumpster. Man, I so hated doing that but carrying something else with me just wasn't doing me any favors, Eric was not allowed to sherpa any items for me (it's in the rules), and I knew full well that by the time we met up with Angie one last time that cheese ... well ... it would be No Bueno for anyone.

The final crew location and aid station is at Memorial Park before the final push to the finish line. As we made our way towards the Towpath that would take us to Memorial Park we passed an area filled with the smell of a skunk or maybe it was something dead in the woods, or ... maybe it was just my own stench, whose to say for sure. The sun had begun to rise and this is not what I wanted to see during the race. My hopes were to finish before daylight, but that was not meant to be. It seemed like it took forever to reach Memorial Park. We passed runners and cyclists out for their morning workout, smiling, saying "good job", and some just passing by probably wondering why these folks looked so beat up. The final straw for my emotional state was when we reached the aid station and as we walked up to the aid station I saw Angie and Cathy standing there, waiting for us to arrive and to help me out with whatever I needed. They both had been doing this all day and all night and it was all I could think about. I completely lost it and turned into a crying mess. I have never been so emotionally drained during a race. This was pure exhaustion physically, emotionally, and mentally. I have no idea how, but Angie held it together and just stood by my side. She asked me "do you really want to finish or do you want to be done". That was all I needed to hear ... I wanted to finish this thing and not let once ounce of time and effort from everyone that has supported me, especially my awesome wife, to go to waste and have me bail 4.5 miles from the finish line. Ain't gonna happen. I pulled it together, told her I am going to finish it and headed off with Eric. I still had plenty of water in my hand-bottle, food at this point would provide me zero value, and I just needed to get moving.

Eric and I continued my slow, turtle-like, pace to hike up a Brick Rd, down and across a couple of paved roads to make the turn onto the last miles of trail. The trail started with a steep loose gravel climb that had two tiers to it, as Eric would remind me, and we ground it out and got to the top. Only one significant climb was left, that being 3-4 flights of steps after having trudged along the upper side of the Cuyahoga River all the while listening to the rushing water of the Gorge dam coming closer and closer. During this time we crossed onto the trail behind another runner with his pacer (only to figure out later that it was his daughter), struggling from what appeared to be more physical ailments than myself noted by his gait. Along the upper side of the river trail Eric noticed two people on the lower trail, it happened to be that the runner and pacer we had seen just earlier missed a turn and were off course. Eric, being the helpful person that he is told me to keep going and went back to redirect them back on course. Good guy that Eric!! I recall thinking that if I can make it to the finish line before 28-hours have elapsed, then that would be "something". I needed to try and find the little, very little, win of this long, oh so very long, journey. I knew enough to know that if I could finish before 8:27 am that I could achieve that minor achievement. Why did I consider that an achievement? At this point, I was reaching for anything I could get. 

Eric and I reached the Gorge, crossed over the High Bridge, and made the final mile stretch up Front St., the last gradual climb, to reach the top and see that ever so wonderful set of orange cones and Burning River flags and of course that ever-elusive timing strip that would tell everyone I had finished the journey I started 27-hours and 54-minutes earlier. Before I ever saw the timing strip I noticed Angie, Cathy, and John McGonnell waiting to see me arrive and cheer me on. It was a COVID-19 finish, which meant everyone had on masks, there were no spectators allowed, certainly no mas gatherings, and you would receive your well-earned buckle, and shove off and away from the finish line. At that point, I was ok with it. I was just way too exhausted to "celebrate". After receiving my buckle, I immediately searched for a grassy spot along the side of the road that I could just sit down. Angie came over to me and the first thing I said when I looked at her was "never again". She agreed without hesitation. Cathy stopped over and continued to lift me up and provide encouragement to me. Seriously incredible human being right there!! As Cathy might say, she helped Angie all day, night, and day to do "all the things so that I could do the thing". 

Notice the dumbass not wearing a mask.

There are just so many lessons learned from this journey, so many takeaways, so many things that went right, and yet the few things that went wrong, went really, really wrong. I have been making notes of everything that I can recall and have been asking others for their feedback and their perception as to what state I had hit. Why am I doing this?

 Every adventure in life is an opportunity to learn from and improve. You just never know where life will take you, the next path that you may travel down, and its better to be as prepared as you can be and frankly just surround yourself with good people. I have so much more to learn.

If you must know, yes the dog wipes her butt on this carpet. I don't care.

One big take away for me is how to figure out reduce the loss of electrolyes over the long haul and on hot days. It felt like I was eating and drinking really well, much better than I ever have in the past. Of course, my perception was likely skewed because for a long time I got into the habit of not eating or drinking anything on my week day runs and likely consumed too little during my longer weekend runs. What may have felt like a lot of calories to me was most likely not enough to sustain me nor enough to fight off severe electrolyte loss. I think where I went wrong with all of my training is quite simple to fix but will take time and that is to train my guy to understand that it is going to be receiving calories during my training. I have to stop being so stupid and stubborn about it and just eat and drink. I really think this was my biggest mistake along this journey.

One anther bit of information that I wanted to capture is that while I had my own perception of how I felt, it was likely very skewed due to my current state of affairs. I reached out to those that were closest to me for their perception of just how bad things got. Here is what they shared with me and I did not edit anything.

From Cathy Faye

So, I was only really worried about you at Oak Hill. At Pine Hollow, you just seemed dehydrated and definitely behind on calories and mentally, you seemed like you had lost your confidence. All of that is something I've seen in everyone running summer 100s. It's gonna happen, but you can bounce back from it. And I could already see you bouncing back from it when I took off to go to my aid station (before you even got Pedialyte and ramen). After 10 minutes and maybe 100 calories of food, you were asking about other people (John), you cracked a joke or two. When I left, I knew you'd go on. You were mentally and physically exhausted, but ok. At Oak Hill, it was a different story. You were definitely disoriented. I was worried about you at that point. Angie looked at me and was like "should he keep going??" cuz she could tell you were out of it. I honestly would have been super anxious about you going on if you didn't have Jon. Again, though, after some calories (chick fil-a!), your mental state improved, even if your physical state didn't. It was clearly really dehydration and not enough calories. It was dramatic how much things changed the second you got some food down. Again, I felt comfy when you left because you perked up and made sense after food.  And it sounds like things didn't go that far downhill again after Oak Hill. You were exhausted, but not noticeably disoriented or completely depleted.

I've never run that far. I can only imagine. But I've paced people to it. And I've volunteered at a lot of 100s. If I could tell you anything, it would be to front load calories like it's your job. That means in the days leading up to the race. In the first half of the race when you are able to eat. Any time you can get food down, you get it down and lots of it.

It was awesome to see you push through all of this and always awesome to hang with Angie, of course. Congratulations!!!! I have been reading so many posts of people who were clearly in exactly the same spot you were: zapped, disoriented, positive they couldn’t go on. And they didn’t. They opted to DNF. That’s ok too—everybody has to do what they have to do. But, you seriously fought through a place that most people can’t fight through. I don’t even wanna say you bounced back. You just felt all the damn pain and did it anyway. Way to do the thing!

From Eric Toepke (pacer last 15 miles)

I was most concerned before my pacing time. While I was pacing, my biggest concern was you would bonk hard enough that you have to take a long sit rest. Not pass out, but to the point you would just stop where ever you were, even on the side of a hill or in a waterway. which was why I was encouraging you to eat anything even if it didn't sit well. There was only one time you were mentally a bit more sluggish then I expected, and that I noticed, going up the last hill into n Hawkins. So I was happy you ate something there. I never was close to the point where I asked you for your phone or anything. There were others on the course that looked worse off than you. The Russian guy looked to be in more physical pain. The old guy jabbering just before memorial seemed more drained mentally, but hard to be sure, because I don't know how he normally is. So either you hid it from me well ( hopefully not ) or you weren't to the point of needed assistance. I thought you were very drained, <10% energy. It's very difficult to keep going once drained by the heat, so that impressed me. Based on how you were acting, I would guess you were very low on fluids as well, but you were still sweating and peeing, so I didn't see it as needing medical assistance. Having been on both sides, It's one of those great things in life. It was literally and figuratively a walk in the park for me, and I knew it would be something you would really appreciate, so it was a no brainer for me. I am happy I was able to be there for you. It was fun. It was good practice for my trip next month too.

You may have inferred this already, but you were also in bad enough shape that I was constantly watching you, just in case my previous text sounded too optimistic. But I also think you were improving most of the time we were together, not a lot, but enough to notice. 

From JoNathan Erenstoft (pacer miles 70-87)

Ok... You were not doing well. I think you know that. You were definitely at your lowest I would say and you wanted to quit. Your leg pain was really bothering you and the thought of traversing all those miles didn’t seem possible with how you were feeling. I took inventory of you right quick.

Your feet were good, you didn’t have chafing, you hadn’t puked, and you were still moving forward. I believe the heat played a big part and you got dehydrated. The dehydration led to all the other issues. The wonky body temp, the upset stomach, the muscle cramp, and invariably it caused you to slow down on taking in calories. That is not an easy thing to come back from nor a quick fix. So many runners, really good talented runners dropped and put up much slower times than ordinary as a result. I knew you had it in you to come back and dig deep through it. You had the time and nothing was broken. I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty but that you absolutely could get it done. You needed to curb the pain and when some caffeine and calories began flowing again, it would get the ball rolling in the right direction. I saw you slowly improving. You stopped talking about quitting and our pace picked up. At first 22, then 20, then 18 and by the time we were leaving out of Oakhill, we were hiking 16-minute miles with some running here and there. I don’t know what happened after I left but I was pretty confident that if you kept things down and kept moving you would make it. You only improved from Pine Hollow to Botzum. But yeah, when I picked you up I was a bit shook. I’ve never had to really tell somebody that they weren’t quitting and help someone get back on track like the other night but between Carol and Bob and Angie, I knew things would be fine. You may have been doubting but I never did. Having low points like that is completely normal. Having doubts. Wanting to quit. Even the best 100 runners out there experience this all the time.

I am honored you trusted me to be there with you and will never forget the experience. Thank you for having me be a part of this journey.

#happytrails